Betty's bio, as written by her husband Phuong. :-)

She was born in a refugee camp and never saw Vietnam until the age 24, but Betty Chau Nguyen still possesses a wealth of knowledge about her ethnic heritage.  The eldest daughter of first-born parents, she grew up with high expectations and constant pressure to set a good example for her three siblings and multitude of cousins. She handled it by immersing herself in the many communities around her, from the choirs at Sacred Heart, St. Joseph’s and St. Matthew’s Catholic Church to the years of Vietnamese cultural performances in Vancouver to the family tree she mapped out containing the names of more than 150 relatives. But it is music that gets Betty most excited about each day. It started in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, when the Vietnamese church choir visited the house regularly during her early childhood, and continued as her father enrolled her in piano classes at the age of 5. When the family moved to Vancouver, BC, Betty was part of the Sacred Heart Catholic church choir at her mother’s behest.  Since the family lived a block away from the church, it was the perfect opportunity for her mom to integrate Vietnamese language, and religion in one, as well as bringing all four children to church would hopefully keep them out of trouble. It was soon discovered that Betty was blessed with a magnificently mellifluous alto delivery that could do justice to music in any language and dancer’s feet that made quick work of any learning curve. After teen years spent perfecting her dance skills, she moved on to singing around Vancouver.  Even after years of working at a bank, music and the arts, especially those of Vietnamese culture, are Betty’s first passion, and something she wants to pass on to the next generation. She wants them to know that it’s not necessary to choose between being Vietnamese or Canadian, but that one can be both at the same time and proud of that fact.

Phuong's bio as written by Betty ;)

Phuong Nguyen was born in Nha Trang, VN and left by boat at the ripe old age of 1. The oldest of three sons, he grew up in Monterey, a quiet town along California’s central coastline. His family thinks of Monterey as America’s version of Nha Trang. He comes from a humble background, as was the case with most Vietnamese refugees, starting a new life in America with few material possessions but plenty of hopes and dreams.

Phuong moved south to attend college at the University of California at San Diego, moved east for graduate school at New York University, and then found his way back west at the University of Southern California, where he received his Ph.D. in American Studies & Ethnicity. A field where very few Asians dare to tread; for most Asian parents would want their children to become doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc. Going against the current, Phuong dived into what fit for him, for it provided the perfect community that fulfilled his intellectual, artistic, social, and political interests.

Going to college and university he was able to discover more about his roots and heritage and about what it means to fight for social justice. He got involved in student activism while also venturing out culturally. Trying certain foods, listening to Vietnamese music, learning to sing in Vietnamese, where he discovered he had quite a voice with the likes of Truong Vu. He took part in VSA culture nights where he was able to utilize his writing skills and stage skills during his junior and senior year at UCSD.

As a child, he had the talent for drawing, a skill he had spent many years refining well before his first art class during high school. Being multi-talented and very lucky, he managed to get through 4 years of college and 9 years of graduate school with full funding.

Phuong writes about Vietnamese American history because he wants the next generation of Vietnamese Americans to know where they came from. He enjoys teaching history in general because young people need to know that change happens not because good automatically prevails over evil, but because ordinary people, just like you and I, put their lives on the line everyday and fight to make change happen.

Now that the groom is in Vancouver...

I've seen much accomplished in less than one week's time. We found suits and dress shirts for the father-in-law and brother-in-law, we bought more wedding decorations, delegated tasks for wedding day, took the bride to her dress fitting, purchased a birdcage for holding envelopes, and the bride purchased her veil.

In addition, we have a semi-heatwave going on here (in addition to much of North America as well). Everyone on the bride's side has managed to get enough sun to register a "fairly dark" on the tan scale. It reminds me how dark I used to be when living in California and how dark I could be today if academic work didn't keep me cooped up for so many hours throughout the school year.

Today a groomsman asked me if Vancouver had a must-try food he should sample when he arrives. I drew a blank. In all my dozen or so visits to Vancouver, I've had mostly Asian food when I've eaten out. Some Greek. I did enjoy the intimate cheesecake place Betty took me to back on January 6, 2005, the day we first met. I'm too scared to try the Mexican food here and I'm not in much of a hurry to wait in long lines for the Japanese hot dog vendor (I doubt he's related to hot dog eater Kobayashi) on Burrard Street, and I've never eaten a burger in Vancouver for some reason (maybe because it aint' In-n-Out or Island's). I should've warned him not to eat at Boston Pizza (worse than frozen pizza), but why can't I think of any must-try foods? A friend in Chicago suggested beaver tails, which is essentially a Canadian version of the Mexican churro (fried dough covered in sugar), but pressed in the shape of a beaver tail; Maybe I should try it first before I recommend. But Vancouver is well known in underground circles for things I can't recommend (drinking age of 19 and marijuana). And anyone who watched the Olympics knows Vancouver has no shortage of breathless vistas and clean air. The food here is tasty and fresh, but what to eat that's out of this world and a must-try (and reasonably-priced) if one visits? Hmmm. Suggestions anyone?

Vintage

Phuong and I have a liking for vintage things. Phuong came across a beautiful clock in Chicago, similar to the nautical desk clocks circa 1920's. Eerily a coincidence, I recently got a 1920's style phone. I only discovered this coincidence now. What are the odds of that happening? 

As of recent, I've been fascinated with typewriters. I did my research, and learned about several brands.
Underwood, remington, royal, corona to name a few. I discovered I liked the royal models of the 1930's the best for its granite finish look. I also learned that it was favored by Hemingway.

I absolutely love it! I hear some screen writers still use typewriters these days. But can you imagine how many love letters, great stories, screen plays, movie scripts that were written on these things? I'm thinking more specifically about letters. I'm sure it would take weeks, if not months for the other person to receive it. Its nice to imagine how it was like back then, how patient one was with most things that were done manually - that takes a lot of patience. Perhaps it ties into the fact that Phuong and I are long distance... interesting parallel....

Considering this day and age, with a touch of an 'enter' button, an email is sent in quick cyber speed. Sometimes I feel like I'm a reincarnated old soul of the early 1900's :p

Now that Phuong and I will be in the midwest, I hear that there are vintage shops aplenty that sell items at decent prices, as apposed to here in the west - where one would have to spend a pretty penny for such things.

Although I"m still terrified of the thought of leaving my childhood town Vancouver, family and friends; I'm trying to focus on the positive outlook for the future. It will be fun decorating our place. A nice eclectic mix of vintage, asian, and modernism :)

That's what friends are for

I know that my friends have regular monthly gigs, usually at the end of the month. Silly me, I should have known to book them at least 6 months to a year in advance, as they pre-book their shows way in advance. I emailed my friends with an informal invite, cordially inviting them to attend, and saying how it would mean a lot to me if they did a diddy or two since we all have been singing together for over 10 years.

I didn't get a response from them, so I figured they were busy. So, I called about 2 weeks later, and discovered they had a show on the same day as the wedding! I was so sad, but I understood at the same time - I have to pre-book them way - way - way -  way in advance. The band leader said he'll see what he could do and call me back.

I got a phone call today from the ever gorgeous, sultry voice singer, chi K.O, saying that they rescheduled their concert date, and all of them would be able to make it - - - - - - - - - - - I was almost in tears. It means so much to me that they are able to make it for Phuong and I's special day.

Betty Chau va Phuong rat chan thanh cam on cac anh chi em nghe si, da doi lai chuong trinh hang thang. Doi voi Betty Chau va Phuong, mot hy sinh lon lao... Hai em rat vui va mong duoc gap cac ban trong ngay vui cua  hai em. Mong duoc nghe giong hat cua cac anh chi, nhe ? ;)

Moving that image

It's a good thing Betty has a friend like Ran. Part musician, part videographer, part piano teacher, part sound technician, who also happens to run a music store in Burnaby, BC. Ran will be playing an important role in making our wedding reception as entertaining as can be. He's a Canadian of Chinese descent who can't resist singing his Chinese tunes but can't get enough of Vietnamese food with his fellow band members. He helped my sweetheart record some demo tapes and happily performed on keyboards when she sang at gigs all over Vancouver and the Lower Mainland. This is what happens when you know people for ten years, which applies to how long Betty and Ran have been friends. It's also another way of saying that Ran is super-talented. We tried inviting Ran to our wedding as a guest to sit down and enjoy the festivities, but Ran is too much of a collaborator and contributor, a person who feels out of place not working at weddings, concerts, and festivals. So it is only appropriate that his wedding gift to us will involve his many talents, with us as his supporting cast. What he will do remains a surprise (partly because we haven't finalized it ourselves... :-P ), but it will provide the perfect kickoff to a joyous occasion. If you're reading, Ran, don't feel embarrassed or under pressure. We already know you expect the best from yourself already. Thanks for your help with our wedding.

Here's a photo of my beautiful bride-to-be at a concert a while back. From left to right: Anh Co, Betty, Ran.

Count down - 1 month 2 days

Working on the last minute items, jeez there are a lot of little things!
-Car decorations and home decorations!  We need help!  10 pairs of hands better than a couple.
-Ruoc dau...those who will be carrying the stuff!  Groom side/bride side

-Church, readers: I'm thinking it would be nice for Phuong and I to do the readings, but would also be nice to have a close aunt/uncle or friend do the readings too.
-Program and Script for MC's

-Have  entertainment organized and time slotted

-Song list for the DJ

-Finalizing on accessory decorations
-Assistance for the florals, gift graciously given by Aunt Jenny - thank you so much!
-My dear MOH is helping me with the pastries - thanks babe!

-A floor map of tables at reception hall.
-A list of ladies that will be at reception table
-A list of male ushers to assist guests to tables. 


We'll be giving the ushers the alphabetized guest list, as well as the table number guest list so they can familiarize with the setting of the tables. So happy I have a large family, and great friends supporting and assisting with all these things to do. I almost feel like its one of those productions I used to put together with my friends in our teenage, young adult times. 

Let's get the show on the road!!

 

Wedding Trends -urbaneventdesign.com/

Good read, enjoy!

1. Smaller Weddings

Couples are having smaller weddings with more intimate guest lists. Some are opting for simplified and less formal weddings, while others are making theirs more elaborate. They are also incorporating special traditions into their wedding ceremony, including family traditions, as well as other cultural, ethnic and spiritual practices. Back-yard weddings have increased and couples are having their receptions much closer to home. Couples are spending less money on catering services by ordering buffet dinners or just having hors d'oeuvres or cocktail receptions. Couples are also purchasing smaller entertainment and photography packages. In addition, they are purchasing basic services, with less add-on or luxury items and services.

2. Photography
Couples are still hiring less expensive unprofessional photographers with digital cameras. They are looking for inexpensive photography services and choosing packages with less hours of photography. In addition, they are requesting packages that include CDs of all their digital images so that they can make prints themselves or post slideshows of their weddings online. These are often called "shoot-and-burn" photography services. Other popular requests include DVDs with high-resolution images as opposed to traditional print and album orders.

3. Do-It-Yourself Projects
Brides are opting to create their own invitations instead of having them professionally made. Seal-and-send invitations are quite popular. Brides are also buying cut flowers and crafting their own bouquets and centerpieces. Couples are more likely to hire "Day of" Coordinators and wedding design services, as opposed to traditional long-term wedding consultation. Brides are looking for inexpensive alternatives to conventional décor, particularly centerpieces. Bridesmaid bouquets can double as head table centerpiece decorations. Brides are also choosing to do their own hair and make-up instead of hiring someone for the wedding day.

4. Packages
Couples are likely to choose venues that offer discounts when they have their wedding ceremony and reception in the same location. They are also seeking services from vendors that offer package deals and all-inclusive or multiple services. For instance, hotels or resorts may offer packaged rates that also include catering, entertainment, and the use of decorations. When couples hire venders independently, they are selecting lower-end packages with limited products and services. They are also attempting to individualize packages to meet their particular preferences in order to just pay for services they want and avoid those they don't feel they need.

5. The Internet
Couples are using the Internet in many areas of wedding planning. They are going online to research vendors, make purchases and compare prices on wedding items before going shopping. In addition, brides are increasingly using the Internet to purchase and resell their wedding gowns. Couples are also creating wedding websites to keep guests informed and updated on locations, accommodations, directions and other pertinent information. In addition, they usually indicate where they are registered for gifts, and guests are able to RSVP on the website instead of mailing back invitations. After the wedding, couples continue to use their website to post slideshows of their wedding pictures.

6. Cakes
Cheesecakes, cupcakes, specialty deserts are trendy alternatives to traditional wedding cakes. Couples are displaying decorative cakes during the reception and purchasing large sheet cakes from grocery stores to actually serve to guests. They are also searching for wedding cake recipes on the Internet, suggesting they or their family members are creating the cakes themselves. Groom's cakes are also currently trendy. They're usually served after the rehearsal dinner and are designed according to a special interest of the groom's. For instance, the might be shaped like a motorcycle or a basketball with his favorite team's logo on it.

7. Colors
Brides are choosing a certain color and style or designer for their bridesmaid dresses and letting the maids select the dress they feel suits them best. This way, brides are able to show individuality while keeping enough uniformity to make things appear coordinated. Bright colors are incredibly popular right now, particularly red, orange, green and blue. Color schemes include bolder colors and unusual color pairings. Brighter colors are also popular in bridal bouquets as less brides are requesting all white bouquets.

8. Flowers
Brides are purchasing cut flowers and creating their own bouquets and centerpieces. In addition, they are choosing brighter colors for their bouquets, and less brides are asking for greenery. Brides frequently search for calla lilies when they're researching wedding flowers and bouquets on the Internet. Laying fresh flowers on cakes is still trendy, both directly on the frosting and scattered around the table.

9. Honeymoons
Couples are searching for all-inclusive honeymoon packages, and cruises are rising in popularity. In addition, they are choosing honeymoon locations that are closer to home. Couples are also registering for their honeymoons instead of other gifts. In addition, they are extending their wedding festivities by having post-wedding brunches and excursions. Therefore, they often postpone their honeymoons to spend more time with close family and friends.

10. Same-Sex Marriage
Same-sex marriage legalization has increased the number of gay weddings in California. Some gay women are choosing to wear dresses while others are looking for curvy, feminine suits or tuxedos, which they are having a difficult time finding.

DIY Project

Phuong and I are going for a unique way of showing photos. The Exhibition Hall has these amazing 10 x 10 walls for showcasing works of art - hence the name of the hall - Exhibition Hall. It is the perfect opportunity to display series of photographs of Phuong and I, and both our families.  I am looking at art gallery exhibits for inspiration:

    

I've got all the pictures together.  Now to have some fun with photoshop  ;)

~Wonderful memories exhibited like works of art ~ beautiful!

Acknowledgments

Almost every Ph.D. dissertation consists of an acknowledgments section in which the writer gives thanks to all the major individuals, institutions, friends, and family who have lent their much-needed support throughout this journey. I spent no less than 8 pages recognizing the multitudes of people far smarter than I who shaped my intellectual development. Of course, the final paragraph was reserved for the sweetest woman I know, Betty Chau Nguyen.
Love you, babe.

The Voice

I—the groom—have fairly good eyesight, but I trust my ears even more. This may sound stupid but my fiancée really did have me at, "Hello." For those who don't know, Betty has an incredibly silky alto voice that should be on radio or voicing commercials. When she sent me a video featuring only her voice while keeping her face hidden, my ears told me this lady was both beautiful on the outside and inside. How could one not fall in love with a voice this mellifluous? Day after day, I watched and listened to this clip on a loop. If it weren't for digital technology, this file would have worn out long ago. Once she recorded a computer software commercial for her friend and sent me the audio. Wow. Made me want to buy the software, even though they didn't have a Mac version. All I got to say is that I'm one lucky fellow. Here's the first video Betty ever sent me. Mmmmmmm...auralicious.

Phuong: my loverly gentleman

Yes folks, one of the most dearest traits I love about Phuong is that he's a gentleman. Below is a great article I read, that makes me smile, because I know I caught me a good one ;)

12 Marks of a Modern-Day Gentleman

MAY 20 - 8:00AM BY TRESSUGAR

Being a gentleman can walk the fine, Chuck Bass line between sleazy and smooth. What was once considered gentlemanly could now easily be a universal turnoff. So what is a 2010 gentleman made of? Here are 12 traits to start.

1. Read the news today: We know he was on the Internet, but can he talk about the big stories? A modern-day gentleman can.
2. Doesn't overuse Facebook: I wouldn't go as far as Christina Hendricks and say he shouldn't have a Facebook account (they're kind of an obligatory), but he also shouldn't be updating it like a 16-year-old girl. True for Twitter too.
3. Dresses up without borrowing: He may need to rent a tux, but other than that he's ready, pressed, and set for any occasion.
4. You can take him anywhere: Whether it's to an art opening or a bar closing, he knows how to act, dress, and circulate at (nearly) every occasion.
5. Recommends books: He not only reads, but he has an opinion on what's good, what's not, and what you'd like.
6. Tips well: If you can't afford the tip, then you can't afford the dinner. A gentleman knows this, and he will not try to weasel out of it.

See the final six below.

7. Pays you back: Nothing should stop him from paying you back, especially if it's a large sum. Not even a breakup!
8. Doesn't talk about exes: Unless you ask him (and do you really want to?), he doesn't talk about his ex-girlfriends. Especially by obliquely referring to them as "friends"!
9. Can cook dinner: Really, it's not that hard. It doesn't have to be amazing or gourmet or even in season; it just needs to be, well, cooked.
10. Holds the door: It may sound old-fashioned to the point of passé, but it's one of those small gestures that's just better off done. If he does it, we notice; and if he doesn't, we wonder why.
11. Is kind to women — and men: Kindness knows no gender, and he knows that. If he's nice to only ladies, then he's in it to win them. And, he'll always lose.
12. He's not perfect, and he knows it: With this list, we're not saying a modern-day gentleman is made of perfection. We don't want to live with that, and we certainly don't want to live with a man who believes it.

Count Down!

Silly Questions

I had to share this article that I read from the knot.com.

Its pretty funny stuff!

Ever been faced with a wedding comment that was so inappropriate it left you tongue-tied? Among the congratulations and well-wishing, you're bound to hear a few remarks that are rude, annoying, or flat-out appalling. Be prepared and you'll leave them sputtering.

"Are you sure you're ready?"
Translation: Coming from an unmarried acquaintance, this sort of question is likely a projection of their own fears -- they're not in a position to make a lifelong commitment, so it's hard to imagine that you could be.
Quick comeback: Exude confidence and leave no room for anyone to debate if you or your fiance is in any way unprepared for what you're getting into: "Absolutely! We are completely in love and ready to be together forever."

"The marriage won't last."
Translation: Whether it's a reflection of their own marriage problems or a past incident that convinced them monogamy is impossible, this person has a knack for souring good news.
Quick comeback: It's easy to get seriously offended by this one, but take the high road and try cheesy humor. Ask if their favorite precious stone is "jaded" or whether they hit any traffic on the Pessimist Expressway that morning.

"Your engagement is too long."
Translation: Any engagement over a year might seem excessive to some, but it takes a lot of time to pull everything together. The person's comment may be out of surprise, not ill will.
Quick comeback: You have a few acceptable options: Explain that the best wedding vendors are booked more than a year in advance, that you're extending the engagement to save more money, or that you have something you want to accomplish (finish your degree, settle into a new job) before you make your marriage official.

"Your engagement is too short."
Translation: While you and your fiance have probably discussed getting engaged for a while, the news might be a shock to some. The person who says this doubts you'll have enough time to plan a nice wedding.
Quick comeback: Reassure them that though your engagement is brief, you set the wedding planning wheels in motion well before he popped the question. Be calm -- if you seem too swept up in the excitement of the proposal, it supports the idea that you're rushing things.

"Is that really the ring you wanted?"
Translation: Almost any engagement ring can elicit a snide remark, whether it's too big, too small, too sparkly, or not sparkly enough. This sort of nastiness undoubtedly stems from jealously that you've been proposed to, and the ring is an object that provides an outlet for them to concentrate all their envious feelings on.
Quick comeback: It's every newly engaged woman's right to show off her rock, but if you get negative vibes from someone, draw focus away from the ring with a simple reply like, "We're both really happy and excited."

"This bridesmaid dress is ugly."
Translation: While it's a cliche for a bridesmaid to gripe about the dress, it still happens. If she's strapped for cash, her disapproval may be in hopes that you'll pick something less expensive. Or she could really think it's hideous.
Quick comeback: Find out why she doesn't like it and try to locate some middle ground. Suggest that she stick with the dress color but then let her choose her own silhouette.

"That's a great idea...I'll do it too!"
Translation: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but it's aggravating when a friend steals a unique wedding idea. Take it as a compliment that your ideas are so great; then steer your friend in a new direction.
Quick comeback: Agree the idea would work well in your friend's wedding, but suggest she personalize it to better fit her style. Encourage some brainstorming and change an element of the concept so it's similar but not identical.

"Who is paying for all this?"
Translation: Maybe they're surprised by all of the nice details you've included in your wedding, or perhaps they're wondering how your parents could afford to host such a great party on their own dime. Either way, this one ranks near the very top of the bad etiquette list.
Quick comeback: Unless you're willing to share that info, immediately let the person know they've crossed the line: "I'm sorry, but that's between my fiance and me."

"Am I going to be invited?"
Translation: No need to decipher this one -- this person simply wants to attend the party. Tactless on their part, sure, but don't be surprised when an annoying coworker, excitable neighbor, or wayward cousin asks for an invite.
Quick comeback: Rather than postpone the awkwardness with a dodgy line like, "We haven't finalized the list yet," tell them that, due to a tight budget, you're keeping things intimate and the guest list will be mostly close family.

"How much did that cost?"
Translation: This can be interpreted in a few ways. If the person is planning their own wedding, they're probably asking out of genuine interest because they like what you're doing. If, however, there's no chance they're planning their nuptials, odds are whatever you tell them will garner an obnoxious response.
Quick comeback: A simple "That's none of your business" will suffice, or you could throw them off with some dramatics: "It cost me an arm and my fiance a leg -- next week we're going in for surgery together. Romantic, right?"

"I'm RSVPing...with guest."
Translation: Some people think that it's fine to tack on a "plus one" to any wedding invite. Though it's definitely a wedding etiquette faux pas, you should give your guest the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to an innocent misunderstanding rather than a snobby "I don't go anywhere without a date" attitude.
Quick comeback: Call as soon as you receive the offending RSVP and gently explain: "I'm sorry that it wasn't clearer, and we're excited you're coming, but our guest list is packed so we can't include a date for every guest."

"I want to make a toast."
Translation: They want the world (or at least the reception) to know how proud they are you tied the knot. And a minute in the spotlight satisfies any extrovert tendencies they might have.
Quick comeback: Say that you're flattered by the offer, but you want to keep the toasts to a minimum -- just the parents and honor attendants. If a close family member really wants to speak, you should consider letting them say a few words at the rehearsal dinner.

"So when are you going to have kids?"
Translation: The joy of a wedding leaves some people overly enthusiastic about the next huge life event: starting a family. Curiosity about baby plans is natural -- most people keep those thoughts to themselves, while others prove to be significantly less reserved.
Quick comeback: Even if you have a clear plan about when you want to start having babies, be vague in discussing a timeline. Try, "We'd love to be parents someday, but we're taking things one step at a time -- starting with the wedding."

-- Miles Stiverson