Her favorite city

Because Monterey is such a small town with an equally small regional airport, Betty has often had to fly into San Francisco when visiting California. It made sense then to make day trips to the City by the Bay, which has become her favorite city in the United States. The photo above was taken in May 2007. After an hour of walking around, we discovered this great sushi restaurant in Chinatown. What made this place unique was not so much the sushi but the music, a perfect mix of R&B and slow jams from the 1990s. You name it, they played it. After7, All-4-One, Boyz II Men, Babyface. We even had the nerve to ask the owners where they bought the disc, but they replied that it was a custom burned compilation. Earlier we had navigated our way around the San Francisco Public Library, one of the most pieces of modern architecture in my opinion. We went there in search of books on Vietnamese music and found one about the pop artists of the Vietnam War generation. Wow, they called themselves hippies in Saigon and they sure lived up to that stereotype, down to the bellbottoms and coke-bottle glasses.

Later that evening, Betty befriended a cat in San Jose, but alas we couldn't bring the critter home. Woody would have eaten it alive. For those who don't know, our dearly departed family dog Woody never did get along with any creatures except for humans and other dogs. Woody even took a liking to Betty and would bark at me whenever I tried to hug her. Whoa, talk about no respect. But it was to be expected from a dog like Woody who styled himself a ladies man.

One of the most memorable moment occurred when I decided to buy tickets to the NUTCRACKER (ballet) at the San Francisco War Memorial Opera House. The only catch was that Betty's flight would arrive at SFO about a little over an hour prior to the opening curtain. So what did I do? I grabbed her from the airport as quickly as possible, whisked her at light speed from the aiport to our hotel in downtown. From there we wheeled three suitcases upstairs, got dressed and ran outside to hail a cab. Actually, Betty hailed a cab in near-cartoon fashion. No, she didn't need to show any leg, but the cabbie probably enjoyed stopping for a beautiful woman. Somehow we arrived at the Opera House just 10 minutes before the show started, and man, what a show. This from a guy who has no interest in ballet or classical theater. Great night. Great city.

So much purple

Purple is a nice color that looks great on many people, but I've never met a lady who rocked the purple like the love of my life. Prior to our first in-person encounter, when all I had were digital photos and webcam images, Betty shared with me her preference for violet. Don't know why, but all her experience performing on stage likely taught her to favor outfits with flair and pizazz. She had purchased a purple overcoat in late 2004 that appeared tailored bespoke just for her. The above photo (taken in Vancouver's Queen Elizabeth Park in March 2005) captures well my wifey's unique style, a look you see again for our first New Year's Eve together. Man, a purple coat over a red dress. Now that's hot stuff.

Maybe it made sense for her to date a guy with some purple in his background, starting with my rooting for the Los Angeles Lakers: the purple and gold (though I hate the purple road uniforms). For people who know where Monterey is located, and the fact I root for the San Francisco Giants and 49ers, my fandom for an L.A. team might seem a bit disingenuous and downright fraudulent. After all, there's no way I would ever root for the Raiders, Rams, Dodgers, or Angels. In terms of basketball, why not root for the Golden State Warriors (of Sleepy Floyd and Chris Mullen), one might ask. Even though we could watch Warrior games on KICU, we had just as much access to Laker games because in 1986, a new Monterey station called KCBA decided to fill up a significant chunk of programming time by simulcasting Los Angeles Lakers road games originally from their flagship off-air station KCAL in Southern California. So just like the fans in the Southland, I was treated to the play-by-play talents of the recently statue-fied Chick Hearn and his extant on-air partner Stu Lantz. Heck, we even received Lakers radio broadcasts on 1240 AM. So in addition to reading books by flashlight past my curfew, I spent many nights discreetly listening to Chick Hearn visualize every Laker with a signature phrase: from Magic "yo-yo'ing up and down the court"; or when Kareem would "swing left, shoot right" for his sky hook; or Worthy's "Slaaaaaaaam dunk!" or the game being "in the refridgerator."

Unlike Betty, I exercise much more prudence in wearing purple. My college roommates and parents didn't understand how I had the nerve to wear purple at all (not that I ever saw myself as an adventurous dresser), but maybe they were projecting the fact they couldn't pull off the look. As a result the outfit below garnered as many criticisms as it did compliments. In case you're wondering, I am not wearing a pink tie.

After over 10 years, I still own that purple dress shirt and put it to good use for a 4th anniversary dinner (January 2008) at the spectacular Yamashiro restaurant in Hollywood. Expensive, yes, but to paraphrase the renowned philosopher Cookie Monster, this is a "sometimes restaurant" with such a breathtaking panoramic view of Los Angeles that you wind up asking yourself, "Is sometimes NOW?" And for once, I look half as good as she does.

Now I'm enjoying a brief stint at Northwestern University (where purple is a way of life), though I haven't assimilated the color scheme beyond a keychain lanyard. Besides, Betty looks much better in NU purple than I ever would. That's why I bought an NU sweatshirt just for her. I gave it to her during my October 2009 visit, just a few days before our engagement ceremony. To my surprise she unveiled another purple look that day. Am I a lucky guy or what?

And just in case fellow Trojans reading this blog are wondering, yes, I have made sure she has plenty of cardinal and gold, including this very distinctive USC scarf, while I pretend to be Cookie Monster while wearing the priceless scarf she handmade for me. Fight on!

Break time; let's reflect & breathe....and go cruisin' !

We are down to 3 months and 4 days. Its crunch time. Either we can be stressed out and start having panic attacks, or we can handle things one day at a time. Sometimes take a day off or two to breathe and remember: 'A Wedding is a Day, A Marriage is a lifetime,' as they said in our Engaged Encounters weekend course.

Its good to just breathe..... and remember why I love Phuong so much. I remember when I first met him, I was thinking: score! Brains and Brawn ;) And I don't have to wear crazy 4-5 inch heels anymore, he's perfect for me. He makes me laugh. We see eye to eye on most things. We support each other in everything we do. We motivate each other when times get tough. We are there for each other good & bad.

One of our favorite past times is biking. He got me a cruiser bike, after I fell in love with the one we rented at one of the bike rental stores. Though, I don't get to ride my bike as much here in BC as he rides his bike when he was in LA. Most people know, Vancouver has similar weather to Seattle. We have about 2-3 months of sunny weather in the summer! The rest is rain, and lots of clouds - but heck, I still love BC.

How nice would it be to go bike riding together again. The few times that we do get to see each other, I cherish our bike ride adventures at Belmont shore, the Long Beach bike path, and Stanley Park seawall. He currently lives near Lake Michigan, so I look forward to continuing our bike ride cruising there; when we're finally together.

Which wedding song to pick?

It's hard to beat 1960s and 1970s songs for a first dance. After all, many of these songs, whether performed by Sam Cooke. I gotta thank Hai-Dang Phan for the Sam Cooke CD.






or Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell


These songs also run less than 4 minutes, which is great for the pacing. I have a friend who insists on Dean Martin (especially since he and his bride danced to "You're Nobody Until Somebody Loves You") but I don't quite see eye to eye with his Armenian sensibility. If we find the right song, Betty and I might lead off the dancing with a jazz duet from the 1950s, maybe by Satchmo & Ella.

Or we could choose from our generation's version of old school music (80s and 90s). We have a few candidates so far but no clear frontrunners yet. First we have the bad-ass lyrics but awful hairstyles of TWO OCCASIONS:



Another "classic" is Always by Atlantic Starr, though Betty worries it has become played out at weddings.


Betty also loves the Babyface song "Every time I close my eyes" (with an assist from Kenny G & Mariah Carey)


I wouldn't mind dancing to the Boyz II Men cover of "In the Still of the Night"


or Luther Vandross' cover of "Endless Love"


or Brian McKnight's "Crazy Love" (from the movie Jason's Lyric)


At the same time, Betty also has a crush on British Columbia native Michael Bublé, the new king of covers



though he did write "Home"

and Eric Benet, the man who somehow found it impossible to stay faithful to Halle Berry, can nevertheless deliver a good love song


And if you're from the West Coast, this one is an absolute classic (though not very romantic)

Any other suggestions?

Pancakes

The first meal Betty and I cooked together was breakfast on Friday, January 7, 2005. She had the excellent idea of making pancakes and it's become our little tradition that we keep up every time we see each other. We've made small ones, large ones, blueberry, banana, strawberry, and whole wheat. Our pancake breakfasts started with me giving her cooking tips, but Betty has since surpassed me in flapjacking skills down to the exact amount of oil and heat. During our trip to Hawaii last year, we had some of the most delicious pancakes ever, punctuated by a very unique coconut syrup. Why we haven't bought a pancake cookbook yet is beyond me, but I can see it happening very soon.

Wedding attire

Too bad Phuong won't wear an ao dai (traditional Vietnamese wedding attire) for our wedding. I think he would look very handsome in it. Regardless, I know he'll look great in his suit/tuxedo. Even though he's not a huge fan of Dam Vinh Hung, I think Dam Vinh Hung models the ao dai very well with the female model.

The beginnings of many things

We first met at Vancouver City Hall. 

The corner of Cambie Street and 12th Avenue, one of the stops of the coach bus, that took him to Vancouver from Seattle, where we finally met after months of conversing through cyber space.

Who would have known that we would begin another journey at another City Hall in San Francisco.

Next destination, Holy Rosary Cathedral, Vancouver, BC.

And so, a new adventure begins... 

Is there such thing as too much cake testing?

I went cake testing a few weeks ago.
I was so excited to try delicious cakes, since I've been on a very strict diet. After trying several cakes: white chocolate, chocolate truffle, vanilla buttercream, chocolate buttercream, different mousse cakes - I didn't want to eat another piece of cake! Too sweet!  You see what I had to suffer through, babe? As most of you know, Phuong is in Chicago, while I'm here doing the leg work for the wedding. But, he's the brain behind the researching. He compiled 12 pages on word doc. worth of different bakeries! Love you for that, anh. After trying all the cakes, my long lost sweet tooth favoured  Anna's Cake House.

Their cakes are sooo delicious. Not too sweet, not too bland - just right! 

Click here for Anna's Cake House

Putting The Bride's Look Together

I've had some time to research different styles of wedding ao dai's (Vietnamese traditional wedding long dress). Yes, I am very fickle. But, as Phuong says, when you are petite, you don't have much margin for error :p Colours, lines, and the cut are really important to me. At first, I wanted to go for the traditional style with the canh dong (head-dress), the robe, and the ao dai. But, realized the canh dong doesn't flatter me very much :p It will also be summer, so the extra robe will be too much.

Red is usually the traditional colour that brides wear for the wedding ceremony. I love red, but for some reason I always go to pink. Maybe the girly side of me. I decided to go for a light shade of pink, similar to this one, without the head-dress.

 I think I'll just go for some flowers in my hair. I love this retro look. 

I'm still debating on the red lips and black eyeliner

Or the natural pink lips, and eyeshadow. What does everyone think? hmm...

Invites have arrived!

Phuong and I worked on the invites for quite some time. It was quite an experience. The first time around, the 1st company didn't get it right. Luckily, I had a family friend refer me to another printing place.  I went through at least 10 different albums of invite samples, to no avail. Phuong and I like simple clean lines. Most Vietnamese invites are very sparkly, full of cute pictures, and they always, always use script fonts which are so hard to read.


The printing company was very catering to our needs. They worked with us until we designed something that we liked. After continuous emails back and forth of editing, fixing, and more editing - the results were wonderful!


Thank you to Jonathan for bringing them back for us! Thank you to Cau Ngoc's friend, Chu Cao, for referring us to this company. Although there is 1 typo, I'm still very happy with the results. Phuong and I should be sending out the invites in the next couple of weeks. 3 months 9 days to go!

Props to: www.vannguyenco.com.vn

Rented s#!&

Let me get this straight. On his wedding day a man can expect to be photographed more than any other day in his life. Aside from future family portraits, no other photos will go on display longer than from the big day. Future generations will look at these documents as the sole evidence that your old, wrinkled ass had any sense of style or youthfulness. In other words, this is the one day you can game the system and look really nice for the cameras because the documents from this day outlast most others. Women (and a multi-billion dollar wedding industry) have figured this out long ago (and many have gone overboard in the process). They make sure their hair, their flowers, their skin, and most importantly, their dress, meet every one of their expectations? But what do we men do on our most fashionable of days? We wear ill-fitting rented crap, from shirt to tuxedo to shoes to even strapping on a modern clip-on tie. We party all night in someone else's clothes and make sure we wake up early the next day to return them to avoid late fees. I'm not anywhere close to being the best-dressed guy out there, nor do I aspire to be, but shouldn't we men expect a little more sartorial sense of ourselves on the big day?

If you're 2nd-generation Asian American or more recent arrival, you're more than well aware of the trend-passed-off-as-tradition of wearing an all-white tuxedo for the wedding. Alert: you're a man, not the circus ringmaster. And yes, Navy officers wear white, but they hate it because it tells the whole world how cushy their work is that they can afford to wear all-white (including shoes) to work and know it likely won't get soiled. Unless it's a beach wedding, save the all-white look for the bride.

Granted, it costs less than $200 to rent groomwear, but if you already have a suit you like, why not spend the $200 getting things you can keep, like a nice dress shirt, vest, wedding tie (maybe white or silver), and cufflinks? OK, I'd find a way to get all those items for under $200, but the point remains the same. I'm making sure I don't look like another typical cheap-tuxedo groom. Better to wear a regular suit and look like yourself.

Small Town Boy

This groom is proud to be a small town boy from Monterey, California. My parents settled the family there after a long migration from Vietnam—with stops in Japan; Binghampton, NY; and San Mateo, CA— before the lure of fishing drew my dad to California's first capitol. The fishing part didn't work out, but living near America's most picturesque coastline made perfect sense for a family originating from Nha Trang, home to Vietnam's most popular beachfront.




















Monterey is a place where you literally feel close to nature.


















And there's no shortage of ocean-formed jewelry.

















or signs of Sea Lions, hence the name of Point Lobos for this beach

























Besides ocean views, Monterey has plenty of historic buildings befitting its Spanish heritage. One such landmark is the Mission San Carlos Borromeo de Carmel located just off Highway 1 in Carmel-by-the-Sea. When I gave Betty the tour of Carmel Mission (built in 1770), a tidal wave of nostalgia overwhelmed my future wife to the point she initially wanted to get married here. Of all the California missions, this was the personal favorite of Father Junipero Serra. When he wasn't trying to convert Native Americans into cheap labor (we learned that in 4th grade social studies), he oversaw the construction of one of the most charming places of worship I've ever seen. Maybe it's just my bias for Southwestern architecture.

































































Just a preview of Monterey. To be continued...

Us

Just us...

Etsy!

Love this site!

I found a lot of great ideas for flowers, veils, bouquets, boleros, wedding invitations; all sorts!

Check it out:

www.etsy.com

Something about us

Our Love of Dogs!

Last year was unfortunate for the both of us.
First, Phuong lost his beloved family pet, Woody, the boston terrier/chihuahua mix... he was a constant joy to the family in Monterey. He brought the family together. I enjoyed the walks on the beach with Phuong & Woody. We met many dog friends & human friends on those trips to the beach.



In November 2009, I lost my dear Chopper, the kindest rottweiler you'll ever meet. I had Chopper since he was 8 weeks old. We played hide and seek, I taught him to dance in circles. My dad taught him to roll over! :p Among many other tricks that brought endless laughter to the family in Surrey. I very much enjoyed the family walks to the pond with Chopper. He never bothered the ducks. But was always happy to see other dogs, and would end up walking me instead of me walking him!



We miss Woody & Chopper very much. How nice would it have been to have our dogs in our ceremony at home. I can't even think of having another dog anytime soon. Its a shame that that they don't live as long as humans. They bring such undying love and faithful companionship into our lives.

Phuong and I did discuss about what dog we wanted when we moved in together. I love the West Highland terrier. Phuong wants to find another Woody. Though, it will be hard to replace any beloved pet, or person, for none are never the same. As I think about our future together, I reminisce about all the joy our family, friends, and pets brought into our lives. Miss you Woody & Chopper. Maybe Phuong & I can babysit the westie that lives in the next building...:)

The First Gift

When I first met my wife-to-be back in the beginning of 2005, I knew ahead of time she had spent weeks on a special gift, one that her sisters doubted she could complete in time. During our instant messenger communications, she updated me on the progress of this vague gift, saying she had messed up or made a lot of progress. It made no sense to me because I had no clue Betty could knit. Sing: yes. Dance: of course. But she kept knitting a secret until the day we first met and she handed me this beautiful scarf, which I continue to wear on the really cold days. Granted, I didn't see too many cold days in Los Angeles, but there have been plenty in Chicago thus far and I'm glad I have the beautiful day 1 scarf my love assembled with her own hands. Gotta hand it to her. Way to a man's heart is also by keeping him warm.